When In L.A….

I love L.A. No seriously, I do. I’m not trying to get all Randy Newman on you, but picture this…

I’m sprinting up and down a crowded sidewalk on a Saturday afternoon in the dead of winter, dodging the likes of Marilyn Monroe (looking as lovely as ever, btw), Captain Jack Sparrow, Darth Vader and The Joker  – as well as the phalanx of admirers that surround each of them. I’ve been doing this kind of thing all over the city for almost three hours now, and I’m sure my heart rate is hovering in the “Maybe You Should Rethink This” zone, but I’m lost in the hot pursuit of precious information that will lead to…well, I’m not exactly sure what’s at stake. All I know is that I want to win. And I wonder “Where else in the world would my current sweatball status and bizarre behavior raise not a single eyebrow among the people I’m trying desparately not to run over?” I love L.A.

More specifically, I love The Amazing L.A. Race, which has inspired 50 or so other maniacs on this day to do what I’m doing. So I’m not alone in my lunacy. In fact, I have five teammates:  a filmmaker, a professional golfer, an Organizational Development guru, a medical instruments company exec, and an action sports event manager. We range in age from 23 (the pro golfer) to 50 (yours truly), and are split evenly across gender lines. It shouldn’t surprise you to learn that our team is called Mixed Bag. But let me go back to the beginning…

Long before CBS struck ratings gold with “The Amazing Race”, and long before the phrase “reality television” had even become a twinkle in “Survivor” producer Mark Burnett’s eye, there was BARF – the Bay Area Race Fantastique, which in turn can trace its genealogy to the mother of all urban scavanger hunt marathons, The Game. Begun in 1973, The Game became legendary as an underground multi-day mental and physical competition that covered hundreds of square miles of constant motion and puzzle-solving. A slightly less apocalyptic version of The Game, BARF was created in 1985 by a group of Stanford students, some of whom through natural West Coast migratory patterns brought the concept with them to SoCal. No LARF-ing matter (sorry, I couldn’t resist), the parent organization of  The Amazing L.A. Race is run by Larry Toffler and Bob Gloverman, who have shortened the race a bit and added all of the elements that make it a blast for virtually any adult willing to spend half a day dashing around L.A. in search of clues that will unlock the mysteries of the city. 

And so it was that 12 teams of people of various walks of life gathered on a cool sun-splashed Saturday morning at the Hollywood Bowl. Since some members of our team were meeting for the first time, we felt the need for a quick round-robin cleansing session in which we revealed what we felt might be any weaknesses that the team would have to pull together to overcome. I copped to bad knees that precluded long distance running and my better half The Bird admitted that she could get lost in a long hallway with no doors. Molly asked “Is a hangover a weakness?” We mulled that over, and deciding that it wasn’t, turned our attention to sizing up the competition.

Some teams had matching shirts or similar apparel – one charming woman named Robin had made sequined ballcaps for her team. OK, so they had us on preparation. Some teams were made up primarily of young athletic types. Others bore boastful names like “Defending Champs”, even though it was their first time in the event. OK, so they had us on creativity. We did however, have two secret weapons. The first was our spiritual mentor, Lloyd from “Dumb and Dumber”, who when told by Mary that he had a one in a million chance of ending up with her responded “So you’re telling me there’s a chance…”. Our second secret weapon?  To a person, Team Mixed Bag hates to lose.

And so, at exactly 11:28 AM, following a thorough and humorous briefing from Larry on the rules and regs (the “no sabotage” statute was particularly unpopular), Team Mixed Bag sprinted off toward our first destination – without the slightest hint of a plan of attack. It was like a class full of overachieving kindergarteners let loose on an unsuspecting playground. We didn’t know exactly what we were doing, but we were doing it with gusto.

It was then that a wonderful thing happened, something that I submit to you only happens in its purest form during team competitions. We just naturally meshed. Our communication patterns fell into automatic synch. We each subconsciously put forth our particular strengths when called for and stepped back to let others lead when their particular strengths were in play.  And we hustled. Nobody wanted to be the weak link in terms of keeping up. Remember my previous mention of knee problems and difficulty running? On this day I was magically cured (the next day…well that’s a different story).

We arrived at the finish line exactly 2 hours and 59 minutes after we had started. Bob was there to greet us  – and while it may have been my imagination, I think he was startled to see us so soon. We were told that we had missed setting the course record by just 17 minutes, but that might have fallen under the category of ”I bet you say that to all the winners”. Multiple hugs and high fives ensued all around, followed by a beer (or two) to fuel the animated discussion of how we could have shaved 18 minutes off our time.

As each team finished, they were met with a rousing ovation from those that had preceded them to the finish line, and classy displays of congratulations flowed freely. I won’t reveal what our hard-won prize was, but suffice to say I won’t be needing to rearrange the contents of my safety deposit box to clear space. I will tell you though, that my prize is prominently displayed in my office as a reminder of the fact that even old guys can still generate enough adrenaline to compete and win. And that was worth several times the registration fee – just don’t tell that to Bob or Larry. 

So what did Team Mixed Bag do after the awards ceremony? Bowling – mixed pairs, penny a pin. What else?